I Just Want To Fix Them

Watching someone else in pain is hard.

You can see that they are struggling and you know that they can be helped, either by you or someone you know, yet they refuse help.

You may even think that they simply don’t want to help themselves.

And that may be the case, yet not quite the way you think.

I get told many times that someone’s friend needs to see me or someone’s child needs to have an appointment with me and it sends out a red flag.

I rarely see a child unless I have had consultations with the primary caregiver.

If you feel that someone else needs to see me, then I would suggest that you make an appointment so that we can look at the reason why you would like the other person changed.

To facilitate true change in someone, you need to let go of the fact that you think they are broken and that they need to be changed.

They are perfect, whole and complete just as they are and if you don’t see that, then it may be up to you to look at why it is so important for them to change for you.

When a person is struggling, more often than not, they do want to get help, yet if they can’t see a solution or they think that the situation won’t change, they will stay where they are until they do.

Has anyone ever come up to you with a product or a service that they say has helped them and know that it will be fabulous for you, yet you don’t take them up on it?

You may even see the benefit, yet you still don’t take action.

Or you may not see the benefit at all because you don’t see that there is much wrong with you in the first place!

This has happened to me many times.

And this is why, unless asked, I rarely give suggestions.

Life is a process and people have to go through their own journey… have their own process to learn and discover what they need to be happy within themselves.

And your happiness may not look like their happiness, so you never really know what people will take you up on.

So what do you do with your struggle, your pain as you watch a loved one struggle in their life?

You love them.

You hold space for them to find solutions for themselves.

And you’re there for them when they open up to possibilities in their life.

When I say, love them, I don’t mean be a door mat. Sometimes tough love is needed for people who are struggling.

I find that listening without coming up with solutions is a great way to be available for people.

Letting them know that you are available if they need any help.

Energetically staying open and trusting that they will find their way out of their struggle is an excellent space for you to be in.

Giving them up to God/Universe to look after will alleviate your responsibility and allow you to let go of wanting to control the situation.

Doing the flower meditation is also a great process to do as they are an aspect of you, so you’ll be able to work on yourself while they are doing whatever they need to do.

The main thing to remember is that you can not fix or change someone else. Click To Tweet

You can only be responsible for how you act rather than react to people and situations.

In Ho’oponopono, the belief is that you are responsible for everything and everyone in your world, and this is true. However, the trick is to let go of the outcome of what you would like your world to be.

The person you would like to fix is in your world. They are an aspect of you, so work on you. Not on them.

That’s when you will see the change…

Only when you work on you… For you!

Love you…

You are everything…

You are everyone…

You are ONE!

If you believe that someone else needs to have a consultation with me, maybe you might like to have that consultation instead?

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary Davey

Rosemary Davey lives with her husband Scott and her fur babies in Western Australia. She has a background in Mind Body Medicine and Holistic Counselling and uses tools and techniques in her programs to enhance the relationships in your life.

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