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Protect Yourself From Hurt

Life hurts so much I just can’t stand it!

How to protect yourself from being hurt again is a common theme.

We come into the world open to all the possibilities that are offered, yet we learn very quickly that it is very easy for our openness to be battered by people who have been hurt themselves.

It’s tough when you are hurt by another, especially if this other is a loved one or someone you have looked up to in the past.

What I have found with clients is that before someone is able to hurt you, you need to give them the ability to do so. You hand over your power, you place expectations on the other person and you let go of your knowing.

This is not about blaming you for the other person’s behaviour. It is simply giving you the awareness that you don’t have to be hurt by another ever again.

Handing over your power is one of the easiest ways to get hurt.

By this I mean, giving them your trust, your knowing and allowing them to be in charge of your life. You may not be doing this on a conscious level, but if you have any resistance to having someone take control of aspects of your life, you are also handing them your power because what you resist persists and grows stronger.

And breathe…

Placing expectations on the other person – who you think they are, rather than who they are showing you they are is a great way to be hurt when you finally see them for who they are. Also placing expectations on the experience with the other person can cause difficulties when the interaction ends and the dreams are shattered, leaving you wondering what happened? Where did it all go wrong?

Letting go of your knowing can also land you in a world of hurt. Every single client I have asked if they knew their partner would cheat on them before it happened, when connecting in with their knowing, said yes. They knew! We know when we are going to be hurt. We are given signs, but because of what we have seen in our parent’s relationships, the television and in social media we believe on some level that it is ok for us to have this experience.

On a soul level, yes it is perfectly ok for us to have this experience, yet what if by using the tools below we can bypass it and have our experience in another, kinder form?

How do we learn without being hurt by the experiences we choose to have?

  1. Let go of the meaning we have given the experience. Getting hurt means so much to us. It is betrayal, disrespect, blame and so much more. What if we didn’t attach so much meaning to being hurt and see it for what it is. It’s a couple of people playing out a pattern that has been running for many, many lifetimes and you’ve all played different roles and now it’s time to complete the pattern so that you don’t have to play it over again with other people in other times or dimensions. Are you willing to let that pattern resolve itself?
  2. Return everything you have ever learned about life and relationships to whomever you bought it. Whether it is from your parents, tv or somewhere else, they can have it back and you can now create something that flows from love.
  3. Drop your energetic barriers. We are so caught up in protecting ourselves from the nasties that we don’t realise that when our barriers go up we are resisting what is hurting us and are holding the hurt in place. Wouldn’t it be easier to drop the barriers and let go of the resistance, the meaning and acknowledge that it happened and it no longer has any control over you?
  4. Let go of your expectations…. COMPLETELY! No one finds it easy to live up to another’s expectations, so why would you place this on a person you love? Right here, right now is where you are. You’re reading this post. You’re deciding whether you agree with what I’m writing or not and you are present. And breathe… To let go of needing to protect yourself, this is the best place to live. In the present.
  5. Acknowledge your knowing. If you ask yourself if this person or situation is in your highest expression of your life, you’ll get a response. Depending on the way you receive information, feeling, thoughts, visions, hearing or knowing, you’ll receive the answer to the question. You can ask whether it is a pattern repeating itself and ask your higher self to resolve the pattern on your behalf. You can ask if you will hurt the other person. You can ask questions to get a full picture of what is going to happen in this situation and then make a conscious choice whether to go ahead or not. It doesn’t matter which choice you make because spiritually, there are no wrong choices. It’s up to you.

So, how do you feel about being hurt now?

The pain and sadness may linger for a while, yet if you use these 5 insights you’ll find that these feelings will lift sooner than you think and if you’re a quick learner (I wasn’t, so no judgement here), you’ll find that you may never have to experience this again… or at least in a lesser form.

If you feel that you need some extra help trusting yourself and dropping your barriers, please contact me for a private consultation or join the monthly free distant healing sessions and let me do all the work for you.

Loving you… Loving life…

What If This Is All BS?

A few weeks ago, I was at lunch with a couple of friends and I called bullshit!

I called bullshit on myself and what I write on this website which shocked them completely. I do love shocking people.

Let me start at the beginning…

We were having a conversation about whether or not we believed in what I do for a living or what I write about on this website and as I know that everything – beliefs, knowings, truths are all flexible and changeable in a moment, I made the suggestion that everything on this site is bullshit.

Most people won’t understand this because they hold their beliefs so tight that if someone questioned them, their defences would rise and it would be on for young and old.

I don’t happen to be one of those people – or maybe this is a belief that I am flexible and changeable! However, it really doesn’t matter to me if someone doesn’t believe in what I write, say or do. It does matter to me wether I am giving value to my readers and clients and that they are transforming with the contribution of my facilitation.

Getting back to why I called bs and I think this can be a great suggestion for anything you come across in your life…

Don’t believe what other people say. Check in with your knowing and see if it resonates with you in this moment. You’re the only one who can be your own bs detector.

Don’t necessarily use other people’s findings as the be all and end all. Research can be skewed, writing comes through the writer’s filters and we are always finding new and interesting information.

Not so long ago, the atom was the smallest…. not true anymore.

Not so long ago, the earth was flat and the earth was the centre of the universe.

Not so long ago, we thought that disease was purely physical… yet many of my clients can tell you that it is not.

My point is that we really don’t know what we don’t know, so maybe it’s best to keep an open mind about any information we receive and ask more questions about it.

The universal energy loves an inquiring mind. It brings in creativity, ingenuity and so-called miracles for us to wonder at and go beyond the limitations that we are surrounded by.

What do you know about life, love and the universe?

Probably a lot more than you’re acknowledging. And if you care to acknowledge what you know, you’ll probably allow yourself to acknowledge that there is more information available to you than you could ever realise.

So, I call bullshit on everything that I have ever said and everything that i have ever written so that you can connect in with your being, your knowing and ask, “In this moment, is this true for me? And am I willing to go beyond any limitations that would prevent me from being the oneness of all that is?”

By asking questions like this, you’ll find that you’re own knowing will expand exponentially and you’ll start to remember all the things you don’t know that you know and bring in all the things that you may need to know for your life to be lived in alignment with your highest expression.

An exercise for you… if you wish… is to read through this website and read the information, then check in with your knowing and ask yourself if it is true for you. If it’s not, ask are you willing to connect with what is true for you? And write in the comments what you have come up with.

This process is amazing, but don’t take my word for it… try it out for yourself and learn what is true for you now and what will be true for you in the future, so that you can develop your inner strength and know who you really are.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you… the real you…

Loving you… Loving life…

And So I Shaved My Hair

A couple of months ago, I shaved off my hair.

When Scott and I first got married we went to the Oneness University in India and met a gorgeous woman who had shaved her hair. She looked fabulous and totally free!

This could have been because she was emotionally at peace with herself and the world, so I asked her about how it felt and she said that it was one of the most freeing experiences.

From that point on, I wanted to shave my hair…

And it took me 6 years to do so!

Why so long? Well, when I got home from India I was very sick for a few months. Then my sister in law had cancer and lost her hair and I postponed it out of respect for her. Then I forgot about it for a while until we moved to Safety Bay.

The change of geographical energy started to play with me. I changed hairdressers and cut my hair into a pixicut and knew I was ready for a change, a freedom that needed something physical to happen to me.

I had also started to practice doing the Potentiation process and was preparing for faciliating the process on some friends and family. Such an amazing experience.

On the Friday before the Potentiation on the Tuesday, I had sat in the chair at the hairdressers and hummed and harred all the way through the haircut and walked out without shaving it. On the Tuesday something inside of me needed to shave my head before I facilitated the Potentiation.

I was propelled to the hairdresser where the last of my locks fell to the floor, leaving my hair a dark grey colour – hmmm.

And true to my idea of how it would feel – It is totally freeing!

More than I could imagine. I feel connected to the Universe in a way I didn’t before and when someone told me I looked like a monk, I had a flashback to another place, another time to when I was a monk.

And even though I’m having a great time with new hats and shaved hair, it’s amazing how much fear I felt before I made the plunge.

Six years I waited!

My question to you is…

What are you not doing that you would love to do?

What is stopping you?

Are you going to take 6 years before you do something that would feel amazing for you?

What are you waiting for?

Life is about experiences. Go out and live your life!

Since posting my pic on social media, I’ve chatted to so many women who have shaved their hair and had wonderful experiences with it.

Will I keep it short? I don’t know… I wonder what my new experience will be?

What’s your version of shaving my hair?

I’d love to know in the comments section and if you’re having troubles getting through the fear and doing it anyway (Thank you Louise Hay), let me know and we can work through it together.

Loving you… Loving life…

What If You Emailed Your Complaints?

I was procrastinating the other day…

Or maybe I was guided…

Anyway, I was watching some morning tv and something was mentioned that I thought was GOLD!

And I needed to share.

I would love to credit whoever came up with this idea, but I can’t remember the show I was watching or who they were talking about.

So whoever you are… thank you.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve needed to vent?

Or have you ever been the sounding board for someone venting?

I’ve been in both positions.

Although less and less these days because I’m not really into going around and around in story land.

And when you get vented on, have you ever had that heavy feeling where all their icky energy has just been dumped on you?

And the person who is venting keeps telling the same story over and over again?

And there will be times where you’ll feel like avoiding certain people because you know that they are so stuck in their story and are a volcano of venting and you just can’t take it anymore?

If you’re nodding your head to all of this, know that you’ve probably done this too at some stage 😉

Well I have a solution…

What if when we feel the need to vent, complain, verbally barrage someone – anyone – with what is going on in our life we write it down in an email to ourselves!

Pretty cool huh?

There are a couple of reasons why this technique is sooooooo fantastic.

  1. It gives your friendship/relationship space to have more fun
  2. It allows you to dump all your frustrations, hurt, anger, upsets, etc onto the screen and out of your system
  3. If you choose, you can delete the emails as soon as you get them – Gone for good!
  4. Or you can use them as a form of self reflection – What exactly are you complaining about anyway and how often?

Remember if you are using the emails as self reflection, don’t dive back into the story again.

Stay detached as you look objectively at how many you have written to yourself over the past day, week, month.

You really don’t need to re-live the vitriol of the emails again and again as that would really defeat the purpose of venting in your emails in the first place.

As we go through life, I don’t think that many of us actually listen to what we are saying to ourselves, our friends and our loved ones.

We whinge, complain and judge and think that this is the way life is meant to be lived.

Well let me tell you, that whinging, complaining and judging is the easiest way to keep the situation in place. Click To Tweet

Energetically it keeps you stuck in fear and survival.

Wouldn’t the best place to change be in flow?

And that’s how the emails help – let your fingers do the talking and deleting from your inbox and your energy field.

Once you realise just how much you are venting – mostly about things that…

  1. Aren’t any of your business
  2. You can’t change
  3. You secretly like and don’t want to change

The venting will decrease and there will be more time and space for a new conversation to begin.

Let me know how you go with your emailing and if you need any extra assistance, book your appointment with me today.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

Becoming A Mother

What do you need to become a mother?

This is something that I’ve been wondering about over the past 6 years and especially over the past few months.

You may or may not know this but Scott and I have been wanting to have children since before we got married.

I know more about the ins and outs of becoming pregnant than most people.

And have done more treatments – alternative and mainstream – than I care to think about.

I’ve facilitated the release of blockages to help women become pregnant.

And I’ve referred people to other therapists who are able to assist in couples creating beautiful families.

And yet for us…

We have furbabies.

One of whom has been barking at me all morning… and I’m just not getting it!

I’ve heard mothers of newborns sometimes don’t get what their bub is trying to tell them, but unlike me, they can’t just ignore their child and hope it gets better!

As I have walked this path of … whatever you want to call it!

On occasion it has felt like an obsession.

I’ve found some amazing practitioners who are available to give support for women who are on their way to becoming a mother.

Support is the piece that can make or break the wonderful experience of pregnancy and growing into motherhood.

What if you don’t have the support of your partner?

What if you don’t have the support of your family?

What if you have to work and don’t have the luxury of time to connect with your baby?

What if you have too much time and don’t know how to use it effectively so that you and your baby are nurtured?

Well… I’ve found a wonderful woman – Julia – who is an Ayurvedic Post-Partum Doula and is currently pregnant with her 3rd child.

She lives about 30 minutes from me and we have never met, simply because I’m not ready for her services.

However, I know that she has a fabulous website with freebies on it for you to enjoy if you’re about to become a mother of a newborn.

Just click here and you’ll be rewarded with love, kindness and support.

So, what is it about motherhood?

Most of us think it will just happen as soon as a baby pops out.

But it doesn’t does it?

Motherhood is something that you grow into. Click To Tweet

A phase in your life that needs nurturing and feeding as the child grows into adulthood.

When the opportunity is given, it is there to be cherished even when things seem to be falling down around you.

I remember dating a man who expected me to be as organised as his mother.

I was organised enough for me and possibly one extra, but I’ve never had reason to be as organised as someone who is responsible for little humans.

It is always something that I knew I would grow into when the time called for it.

His mother had had over 40 years experience of being organised and I bet when she started out she didn’t have it all together!

If you’re interested I’ll share with you a quick process for you to connect with your mother archetype.

You can listen to it here…

So what did you see?

How did you connect with the mother within you?

What questions did you ask and what were the answers?

This is a process that you can listen to and receive insights over and over and I invite you to do so, whether you have children or not.

And if you would like to know more about how to develop a deeper relationship with children in your life maybe a private consultation will assist you.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

My Husband Is Pulling Away From Me

I’ve heard it time and time again…

My husband is pulling away and I don’t know what to do!

There’s something that happens energetically when one person in the relationship pulls away for one reason or another.

It’s almost imperceivable yet it is very real.

The connection that you once had with the person you love is slowly being eroded.

And no matter what you do, say or try, you just can’t get it back.

I’ve felt it before in past relationships and actually, I’ve felt it in this relationship!

And when this happens I know that we’re at a crossroads in our relationship.

You have a choice.

If you keep going down this path, you will eventually break up.

Or…

You can choose something different and see what else is possible. Click To Tweet

There are many reasons why your partner becomes disconnected from you, your family, from the life that you share.

One very common one is stress:

  • Financial stress
  • Work stress
  • Worry about the future
  • Pain in their body

All of these can bring about a distancing from the people who love and support them.

Many men, and some women, internalise their stress which stops them from connecting with their loved ones.

They need the time to work through it, come to terms with it or simply let it go.

It’s a process for them and women need to understand that there isn’t really anything they can do or say to make it better.

We can’t fix how they are handling their stress.

We can, however, look at how we handle our stress about how they are coping with stress.

It’s one of the greatest gifts we have…

How we deal with how other people affect our lives.

We could get demanding – tell me what’s going on!

We could nag – not the best option.

We could be supportive – yet there is supportive and then there is supportive and people have different ways of receiving support.

And then, we can be energetically loving.

One of the best ways that I have found to change the dynamics of a relationship is to do Ho’oponopono and energy pulling.

They are 2 different techniques that work extremely well if you do them consistently… a couple of minutes a day is a good place to start.

Let’s start with Ho’oponopono…

I love you

Please forgive me

I’m sorry

Thank you

These 4 phrases are magic!

To learn more about Ho’oponopono click here.

In the process all you have to do is imagine in your mind’s eye or your heart space or wherever you feel the disconnect in your body, you and your partner saying these 4 phrases.

Sometimes it’s difficult imagining your partner saying the words back to you.

Sometimes it’s difficult saying those words to your partner, but keep at it.

Remember, this is an energetic process.

You don’t have to tell them that you’re doing it, you simply need to do it.

The second process is energy pulling.

What if you imagined pulling energy, like water flowing through them and through you?

The energy flow comes from the Universe and allows flow to occur in your relationship again.

Keep the flow going for as long as you wish.

You can do it eyes opened, eyes closed and even ask the energy to keep on flowing…

Do what feels best for you and your relationship.

And finally, what if you let your loved one go?

Let them go and have the experience they require while knowing that you are supporting their life’s choices and journey.

You don’t own them, nor do they own you.

Yes, you have both chosen to be in this relationship together, yet this is something that you may need to choose on a daily, hourly basis.

So truth, are you choosing to be with your partner today?

Either way, what if you did the energy processes and see how your relationship transforms?

If you need any extra assistance feel free to book an appointment and we can look deeper into why you are with your partner in the first place.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

We Bought A House

Today I pick up the key for our new house.

It’s an exciting time for Scott and I as we start a new adventure renovating and putting our mark on our new home.

We’re living around the corner (almost) to a number of friends and looking forward to making new ones.

Our house is perfect for us, but if you had looked at our wish list when we first started house hunting you would think we had failed in our attempts to find the home we were looking for.

We set out looking for a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

We bought a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

We didn’t want a pool yet we now have a pool.

We wanted the living area to have a northern aspect, it has a southern aspect.

We didn’t necessarily want to renovate and we will be renovating the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry.

We wanted grass for the pups to play on and at the moment there is not a scrap of grass to be seen.

And the list goes on…

The funny thing about lists, goals, targets, whatever you want to call them is that unless they match the energy that will give you that sense of achievement, they mean nothing.

The energy of the house that we’ve bought is perfect for us.

It’s a home with a lot of love, fun and will enhance our lives. The rest is easy to work with when the energy is in alignment with you.

I once had a list for the type of husband I wanted.

My actual husband is not quite what I was looking for, yet he is exactly what I need.

When you’re looking at connecting with something, whether it’s a house, a partner, a job or even a more healthy body, take a look at the energy that you would like to feel when you have achieved the outcome and throw away your list.

Yes, throw away your list! Click To Tweet

The reason why I suggest it is that it’s your mind that needs the list and your mind doesn’t really know what you need in your life.

Your mind doesn’t really know what will enhance your life, what will give you the happiness you desire and what will allow you to create something beyond your imagination.

Connecting with the energy of what you truly desire is quite simple… 

  • Image how you would like to feel when you have it.
  • When you’re in a relationship with a person you love and they love you how will you feel.
  • Happy? Content? In awe that this has actually happened? Will you be laughing?
  • And now feel those emotions in your body, in your being.
  • Expand the emotions out of your body so that they encompass you and your world.

Enjoy them because that’s what you’re really desiring in your life.

Not some list.

So when you’re out there searching for something you think that you want, take a minute to connect with that part of you that already has it.

I don’t mean the list, I mean the energy of it within you.

Expand the energy and create a frequency and then ask it to come and find you.

Keep an eye out for it because it may just be something you least expect.

And then out of the blue…

The energy will hit.

And you will know when you have it.

If you need some assistance getting to the “having” stage, book your consultation today to receive some flow into your life.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

What 100% Responsibility Actually Means

When someone says to take 100% responsibility to you, what does it actually mean?

Does it mean 100% responsibility for your actions only?

Does it mean 100% for you part in the situation?

Does it mean 100% with conditions?

Does it mean 100% for everything?

By everything I mean:

  • Your actions
  • The actions of others
  • How you react to others
  • Your relationships
  • Your environment – past, present and future
  • And everything I have left out that may show up in your world

EVERYTHING!

But… What if it isn’t your fault?

Responsibility isn’t about fault or who’s to blame.

Responsibility is about acknowledging that no matter what happens in your life, you have the choice to respond in a way that will be of benefit to all.

Responsibility - The Ability To Respond. Click To Tweet

You are the master of your life.

You can allow it to control you and become a victim or you can choose something different.

I am not saying for you not to feel the pain or anguish that comes from a situation.

As it is very important for you to feel your emotions.

Yet, when you get stuck in the blame game or wishing that the other person was not in your life that is when you are being controlled by your reality and in reaction rather than taking action.

Which one would you prefer?

I know that I choose being responsible for EVERYTHING in my life.

I first heard about this concept when I read Zero Limits by Dr Joe Vitale.

I was studying mind body medicine and kinesiology (2 separate courses) and I brought this up with both my teachers.

Neither of them had heard of this concept and were intrigued.

I started to notice other people in my world who, although they were well versed in various therapies were still struggling in their personal life.

So I started to use the Ho’oponopono technique on everything in my life… my internal world AND my external world.

As I said the magic phrases in my mind, I would imagine the other people, things or situations saying them in unison with me.

  • I love you
  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you

My world started to shift dramatically. It was crazy.

The world looked more vibrant.

I was happier.

People around me were happier.

Some people left my life.

Some people stayed.

New people came into my life.

Until the day I met a man who was a victim… and life became a struggle again.

There was so much for me to be responsible for!

And that’s ok.

The reason it was a struggle was because instead of focusing on my responsibility I was focusing on his.

I had an agenda that he should be 100% responsible for his life too!

That’s not the way this works.

As soon as I realised this my life became easier again and my life came back into flow.

  • I love you
  • I’m sorry
  • Please forgive me
  • Thank you

Have you heard of Ho’oponopono before? Have you used it?

I’d love to hear your experiences.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

Image: www.freedigitalphotos.net – digitalart

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My Button Pushing Family

Healing family relationships can be tricky for many of us.

As you may or may not know, Scott and I are staying with my gorgeous mum and wonderful step dad while we are waiting for our new home to settle.

It’s really nice reconnecting with them as many of my friend parents have been transitioning over the last few years and I really feel the need to develop a better relationship with them both.

The tricky thing is… although our relationship is “fine” we have had our ups and downs and I would like to dissolve the many, many triggers we have together so that we don’t have to do this again in the next lifetime!

I love my mum… really I do, but she drives me insane! And I’m very sure that I do the same to her.

Although, really, I can’t see how as I am perfect in every way 😉

So the tool that I’ve been using… (although I have been using the full arsenal so that we can have a better relationship) is one that releases blame from either side.

Relationships like these are not about blame. Click To Tweet

They are about bringing us more into love and the more we realise this the easier it is to do this process.

So if you have a relationship with anyone, it could be your parents, your siblings, your co-workers or your partner, you can do this process.

Firstly is the realisation that every person who triggers you is there in service of you.

They are a  reflection of what needs to be healed within you.

If you didn’t have the trigger or frequency that matched them you wouldn’t have an issue with them.

So, remember, they are there for you to love more of you.

Secondly, the process…

Focus on the image below.

You can substitute “Mum” for any other person.

Say to yourself:

  • I am like Mum
  • I am not like Mum
  • Maybe I’m like Mum
  • Maybe I’m not like Mum

Keep saying this and move your eyes from one statement to the next until you are able to feel a sense of peace with what you are saying.

What this process does is to allow the relationship to be neutral, which then allows you to be open to love. It doesn’t mean that you condone their behaviour or have to stay in a relationship with them.

It simply allows you to be free from the angst the other person may bring to your life.

If you’re still having difficulties after 5 minutes scan your body and imagine the image above in the area of your body where you can feel the resistance to letting go.

If you really can’t let go, re-read the top section about why this person is in your life and maybe, just maybe you could thank them for being in your life… not from the level of the personality, but from your soul’s perspective.

And then have another go.

When people trigger you so much that you simply can not stand having them in your life, it is ok for you to take some time away from them.

You don’t need to tell them or have them anywhere near you to do the work that needs to be done for you to have ease in your life.

Let me know if you have anyone in your life who triggers you and remember, how you feel about them doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you.

If you need some extra help healing your relationship with your parents, book a consultation with me now.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature