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Protect Yourself From Hurt

Life hurts so much I just can’t stand it!

How to protect yourself from being hurt again is a common theme.

We come into the world open to all the possibilities that are offered, yet we learn very quickly that it is very easy for our openness to be battered by people who have been hurt themselves.

It’s tough when you are hurt by another, especially if this other is a loved one or someone you have looked up to in the past.

What I have found with clients is that before someone is able to hurt you, you need to give them the ability to do so. You hand over your power, you place expectations on the other person and you let go of your knowing.

This is not about blaming you for the other person’s behaviour. It is simply giving you the awareness that you don’t have to be hurt by another ever again.

Handing over your power is one of the easiest ways to get hurt.

By this I mean, giving them your trust, your knowing and allowing them to be in charge of your life. You may not be doing this on a conscious level, but if you have any resistance to having someone take control of aspects of your life, you are also handing them your power because what you resist persists and grows stronger.

And breathe…

Placing expectations on the other person – who you think they are, rather than who they are showing you they are is a great way to be hurt when you finally see them for who they are. Also placing expectations on the experience with the other person can cause difficulties when the interaction ends and the dreams are shattered, leaving you wondering what happened? Where did it all go wrong?

Letting go of your knowing can also land you in a world of hurt. Every single client I have asked if they knew their partner would cheat on them before it happened, when connecting in with their knowing, said yes. They knew! We know when we are going to be hurt. We are given signs, but because of what we have seen in our parent’s relationships, the television and in social media we believe on some level that it is ok for us to have this experience.

On a soul level, yes it is perfectly ok for us to have this experience, yet what if by using the tools below we can bypass it and have our experience in another, kinder form?

How do we learn without being hurt by the experiences we choose to have?

  1. Let go of the meaning we have given the experience. Getting hurt means so much to us. It is betrayal, disrespect, blame and so much more. What if we didn’t attach so much meaning to being hurt and see it for what it is. It’s a couple of people playing out a pattern that has been running for many, many lifetimes and you’ve all played different roles and now it’s time to complete the pattern so that you don’t have to play it over again with other people in other times or dimensions. Are you willing to let that pattern resolve itself?
  2. Return everything you have ever learned about life and relationships to whomever you bought it. Whether it is from your parents, tv or somewhere else, they can have it back and you can now create something that flows from love.
  3. Drop your energetic barriers. We are so caught up in protecting ourselves from the nasties that we don’t realise that when our barriers go up we are resisting what is hurting us and are holding the hurt in place. Wouldn’t it be easier to drop the barriers and let go of the resistance, the meaning and acknowledge that it happened and it no longer has any control over you?
  4. Let go of your expectations…. COMPLETELY! No one finds it easy to live up to another’s expectations, so why would you place this on a person you love? Right here, right now is where you are. You’re reading this post. You’re deciding whether you agree with what I’m writing or not and you are present. And breathe… To let go of needing to protect yourself, this is the best place to live. In the present.
  5. Acknowledge your knowing. If you ask yourself if this person or situation is in your highest expression of your life, you’ll get a response. Depending on the way you receive information, feeling, thoughts, visions, hearing or knowing, you’ll receive the answer to the question. You can ask whether it is a pattern repeating itself and ask your higher self to resolve the pattern on your behalf. You can ask if you will hurt the other person. You can ask questions to get a full picture of what is going to happen in this situation and then make a conscious choice whether to go ahead or not. It doesn’t matter which choice you make because spiritually, there are no wrong choices. It’s up to you.

So, how do you feel about being hurt now?

The pain and sadness may linger for a while, yet if you use these 5 insights you’ll find that these feelings will lift sooner than you think and if you’re a quick learner (I wasn’t, so no judgement here), you’ll find that you may never have to experience this again… or at least in a lesser form.

If you feel that you need some extra help trusting yourself and dropping your barriers, please contact me for a private consultation or join the monthly free distant healing sessions and let me do all the work for you.

Loving you… Loving life…

And So I Shaved My Hair

A couple of months ago, I shaved off my hair.

When Scott and I first got married we went to the Oneness University in India and met a gorgeous woman who had shaved her hair. She looked fabulous and totally free!

This could have been because she was emotionally at peace with herself and the world, so I asked her about how it felt and she said that it was one of the most freeing experiences.

From that point on, I wanted to shave my hair…

And it took me 6 years to do so!

Why so long? Well, when I got home from India I was very sick for a few months. Then my sister in law had cancer and lost her hair and I postponed it out of respect for her. Then I forgot about it for a while until we moved to Safety Bay.

The change of geographical energy started to play with me. I changed hairdressers and cut my hair into a pixicut and knew I was ready for a change, a freedom that needed something physical to happen to me.

I had also started to practice doing the Potentiation process and was preparing for faciliating the process on some friends and family. Such an amazing experience.

On the Friday before the Potentiation on the Tuesday, I had sat in the chair at the hairdressers and hummed and harred all the way through the haircut and walked out without shaving it. On the Tuesday something inside of me needed to shave my head before I facilitated the Potentiation.

I was propelled to the hairdresser where the last of my locks fell to the floor, leaving my hair a dark grey colour – hmmm.

And true to my idea of how it would feel – It is totally freeing!

More than I could imagine. I feel connected to the Universe in a way I didn’t before and when someone told me I looked like a monk, I had a flashback to another place, another time to when I was a monk.

And even though I’m having a great time with new hats and shaved hair, it’s amazing how much fear I felt before I made the plunge.

Six years I waited!

My question to you is…

What are you not doing that you would love to do?

What is stopping you?

Are you going to take 6 years before you do something that would feel amazing for you?

What are you waiting for?

Life is about experiences. Go out and live your life!

Since posting my pic on social media, I’ve chatted to so many women who have shaved their hair and had wonderful experiences with it.

Will I keep it short? I don’t know… I wonder what my new experience will be?

What’s your version of shaving my hair?

I’d love to know in the comments section and if you’re having troubles getting through the fear and doing it anyway (Thank you Louise Hay), let me know and we can work through it together.

Loving you… Loving life…

I Just Want To Fix Them

Watching someone else in pain is hard.

You can see that they are struggling and you know that they can be helped, either by you or someone you know, yet they refuse help.

You may even think that they simply don’t want to help themselves.

And that may be the case, yet not quite the way you think.

I get told many times that someone’s friend needs to see me or someone’s child needs to have an appointment with me and it sends out a red flag.

I rarely see a child unless I have had consultations with the primary caregiver.

If you feel that someone else needs to see me, then I would suggest that you make an appointment so that we can look at the reason why you would like the other person changed.

To facilitate true change in someone, you need to let go of the fact that you think they are broken and that they need to be changed.

They are perfect, whole and complete just as they are and if you don’t see that, then it may be up to you to look at why it is so important for them to change for you.

When a person is struggling, more often than not, they do want to get help, yet if they can’t see a solution or they think that the situation won’t change, they will stay where they are until they do.

Has anyone ever come up to you with a product or a service that they say has helped them and know that it will be fabulous for you, yet you don’t take them up on it?

You may even see the benefit, yet you still don’t take action.

Or you may not see the benefit at all because you don’t see that there is much wrong with you in the first place!

This has happened to me many times.

And this is why, unless asked, I rarely give suggestions.

Life is a process and people have to go through their own journey… have their own process to learn and discover what they need to be happy within themselves.

And your happiness may not look like their happiness, so you never really know what people will take you up on.

So what do you do with your struggle, your pain as you watch a loved one struggle in their life?

You love them.

You hold space for them to find solutions for themselves.

And you’re there for them when they open up to possibilities in their life.

When I say, love them, I don’t mean be a door mat. Sometimes tough love is needed for people who are struggling.

I find that listening without coming up with solutions is a great way to be available for people.

Letting them know that you are available if they need any help.

Energetically staying open and trusting that they will find their way out of their struggle is an excellent space for you to be in.

Giving them up to God/Universe to look after will alleviate your responsibility and allow you to let go of wanting to control the situation.

Doing the flower meditation is also a great process to do as they are an aspect of you, so you’ll be able to work on yourself while they are doing whatever they need to do.

The main thing to remember is that you can not fix or change someone else. Click To Tweet

You can only be responsible for how you act rather than react to people and situations.

In Ho’oponopono, the belief is that you are responsible for everything and everyone in your world, and this is true. However, the trick is to let go of the outcome of what you would like your world to be.

The person you would like to fix is in your world. They are an aspect of you, so work on you. Not on them.

That’s when you will see the change…

Only when you work on you… For you!

Love you…

You are everything…

You are everyone…

You are ONE!

If you believe that someone else needs to have a consultation with me, maybe you might like to have that consultation instead?

Loving you… Loving life…

What If You Emailed Your Complaints?

I was procrastinating the other day…

Or maybe I was guided…

Anyway, I was watching some morning tv and something was mentioned that I thought was GOLD!

And I needed to share.

I would love to credit whoever came up with this idea, but I can’t remember the show I was watching or who they were talking about.

So whoever you are… thank you.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve needed to vent?

Or have you ever been the sounding board for someone venting?

I’ve been in both positions.

Although less and less these days because I’m not really into going around and around in story land.

And when you get vented on, have you ever had that heavy feeling where all their icky energy has just been dumped on you?

And the person who is venting keeps telling the same story over and over again?

And there will be times where you’ll feel like avoiding certain people because you know that they are so stuck in their story and are a volcano of venting and you just can’t take it anymore?

If you’re nodding your head to all of this, know that you’ve probably done this too at some stage 😉

Well I have a solution…

What if when we feel the need to vent, complain, verbally barrage someone – anyone – with what is going on in our life we write it down in an email to ourselves!

Pretty cool huh?

There are a couple of reasons why this technique is sooooooo fantastic.

  1. It gives your friendship/relationship space to have more fun
  2. It allows you to dump all your frustrations, hurt, anger, upsets, etc onto the screen and out of your system
  3. If you choose, you can delete the emails as soon as you get them – Gone for good!
  4. Or you can use them as a form of self reflection – What exactly are you complaining about anyway and how often?

Remember if you are using the emails as self reflection, don’t dive back into the story again.

Stay detached as you look objectively at how many you have written to yourself over the past day, week, month.

You really don’t need to re-live the vitriol of the emails again and again as that would really defeat the purpose of venting in your emails in the first place.

As we go through life, I don’t think that many of us actually listen to what we are saying to ourselves, our friends and our loved ones.

We whinge, complain and judge and think that this is the way life is meant to be lived.

Well let me tell you, that whinging, complaining and judging is the easiest way to keep the situation in place. Click To Tweet

Energetically it keeps you stuck in fear and survival.

Wouldn’t the best place to change be in flow?

And that’s how the emails help – let your fingers do the talking and deleting from your inbox and your energy field.

Once you realise just how much you are venting – mostly about things that…

  1. Aren’t any of your business
  2. You can’t change
  3. You secretly like and don’t want to change

The venting will decrease and there will be more time and space for a new conversation to begin.

Let me know how you go with your emailing and if you need any extra assistance, book your appointment with me today.

Loving you… Loving life…

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How To Get Kids To Clean Their Bedroom

As you know I’m looking after my sister’s kids for 2 weeks while she is overseas.

And I’m learning new things every day.

My 2 nieces and nephew are all teenagers and have the usual (I am generalising here) messy bedroom syndrome.

And as I’m going through a clean out phase in my life, I thought it could flow onto their life too.

I get that it may be easier for me to implement because I’m the aunt that they see occasionally, but I bet that if you put a little bit of effort into it, this would work for you too.

It’s all about giving them a vision.

What would they like to do with their room.

They are growing, developing and changing.

Their bedroom needs to reflect this too.

I’m not talking about doing anything drastic like painting or re-carpeting… although you can do that if you feel like it.

I’m simply talking about clearing out what is no longer needed and moving some furniture around.

So, the brief I gave the kids was…

If you had a completely new room, that had the same layout and the same basic furniture, what would you like in it?

This means that they can move their furniture around, they can get rid of clothes that don’t fit, they can get rid of any old toys or school books they may have and start fresh.

Imagine if you just moved into a new house and you had a room and some furniture, how would you like your room to be now?

That gets the imagination flowing.

They get creative.

And they get cleaning!

I’ve also found that if you’re sitting there with a bag for the charity bin, a bag for the recycling and a bag for the rubbish that helps.

When you’re supporting their creativity and chatting with them as they pick up one item after the next, you are creating a deeper relationship and a beautiful memory.

Depending on the personality of the child this process can take a couple of hours or a couple of days.

My youngest niece (14) took a couple of hours and it was relatively pain free.

My nephew (11) started yesterday and it looks worse than when he started and will probably continue like that for the week and that’s ok.

My eldest niece (17) hasn’t even started… resistence!

Gotta love it 😉

If you’re saying to yourself… “Well, this will never happen with my child!” You are doing yourself and your child a disservice.

It may be a slightly different process, but I’m sure that you can work it out.

What if you could let go of all the projections you have about what your child will or will not do and see what happens?

What I am realising with these kids is that the more I stay open to different possibilities the easier it is for them to do what I would like to be done.

I trust that they will grow and develop into loving, caring beings…

Actually scrap that!

I trust that they are loving, caring beings and they are being the best version of themselves no matter how they show up.

Are you at loggerheads with someone in your family?

It’s ok.

It happens to everyone and now that you have recognised it you can remove yourself from the emotions of it.

Breathe.

Disentangle.

Align with Divine Love.

Allow it to integrate now.

And breathe…

Give them the space to become open to new possibilities and you never know what may happen… Click To Tweet

If you have teenagers and need a little outside perspective, book your appointment now. You’d be surprised just how much the dynamic can change with an energetic adjustment.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

My Nephew Is A Dreamer

I love my nephew.

He is an amazing kid.

Polite, intelligent and he has a kind heart.

And he is soooooooo slow when you want him to do anything!

For those of you who don’t know, I’m new to this acting parenting thing.

My sister is away in London for 2 weeks and I’m looking after my 2 nieces and nephew while she is away.

And I’ve got to say that I have a newfound respect for parents.

My kids are teenagers and are very self sufficient having grown up with mostly just Mum, they’ve learned how to cook, wash clothes and pretty much organise themselves.

However, I know I’m challenging them to become even more… just as they are me.

The gift my nephew is giving me is being in the present moment with him.

 

You know, I don’t get to see them very often and he’ll be a grown up in a few years and I’ll probably see him even less.

So, last night we were doing the dishes.

The kids hate doing the dishes, however, they have a roster and I’m there drying and chatting with them so it’s more fun for the both of us.

When I do the dishes, they are done quickly and efficiently.

When my nephew does the dishes they are done slowly because he is of in another world.

And then when you chat with him as well, it turns into a marathon as he can’t chat and clean dishes at the same time.

As we were chatting and washing and stopping and washing and chatting some more, I could feel my frustration levels rising.

He simply wasn’t doing it fast enough and without taking over, which wouldn’t be great for his development.

I could do nothing.

Nothing!

That’s when I realised that my beautiful nephew was giving me a gift.

The gift of being present.

The gift of getting to know him.

The gift of connecting with him.

The gift of being present.

A wonderful gift.

As I felt the frustration, I made a conscious choice that it really didn’t matter what else we were missing out on, being present with him was the most important thing I could be doing with my life at this moment.

I had to remind myself a few times because the frustration kept coming at me.

And instead of shoving it down and dismissing it, I was amused by it because as I was being present with my nephew, the frustration was clearing.

I hear this often from clients that their partners or kids don’t do things the way that they would like them to be done.

And they are missing the gift that they are to give and to be given.

The gift to give is to trust that the other person will work it out. Click To Tweet

They will get there on their timeframe not yours.

To give someone the space to learn and to work things out themselves is allowing both you and them to grow into the best version of them.

They develop their problem solving skills and increase their sense of achievement, which will allow them to eventually contribute more to the lives of others.

I understand that I am not an expert in parenting within 2 weeks, however, I have insights into human behaviours that allow others to see the forest from the trees.

So when you are stuck in that forest and you would like others to behave in a way that is different from what is showing up, there are 2 things you can do…

  1. Stop the activity completely and do something different
  2. Allow the activity to continue until complete, supporting them every step of the way.

The choice is yours.

Remember, if you need some extra assistance with your kids, book your appointment today.

Loving you… Loving life…

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Are You Alone During The Holidays

December/January time can be difficult for many.

Especially if you are single.

And especially if you’re actively looking or desiring to be in a relationship with a partner so you can share this time with.

This is the season of parties, family gatherings and connecting with people.

It’s also the time where many of you who are single feel the sting of flying solo.

I remember, not so long ago, when I would get to the end of the year and say to myself…

“Great! I still haven’t met my life partner!”

Everyone was coupled up… brother, sister, cousins, friends and I’m alone again.

And then after my little pity party, I would pull myself together and create a whole list of expectations for the year to come.

Please whatever you do, do not write that list… It is a complete waste of time!

Looking back at that time, I wonder, would it have been so bad if I stayed single for the rest of my life?

Being single can be a lot of fun.

  • You don’t need to ask anyone else’s opinion on things to do/buy/go…
  • You don’t need to take into consideration anyone else’s thoughts before you go ahead with what you would like to do.
  • You can travel wherever you would like.
  • You can earn as much as you would like.
  • You can be friends with whomever you choose.
  • And the list goes on…

So my question to you is…

What would life be like for you if you stayed single? Click To Tweet

What if you never met your life partner?

What if you created a life that you enjoyed beyond your imagination and if someone else came along for the ride… Great!

And if not… Also great!

What would you do if you were happy being single?

Who would you be if you were happy being single?

What would you choose if you were happy being single?

Remember, that I’m not saying that you can never be with someone special when you are focusing on being happy.

No, to the contrary!

You will be more attractive to others while you are happy being single and enjoying your life.

And when your life partner shows up you can adjust your world so that you can be happy together.

Yet in the meantime… Love the one you’re with.

And that my friend is YOU!!!

So… it’s the Wednesday before the New Year…

What are you willing to do today that will allow you to be joyful and happy in your singleness?

What adventures are you going on today?

What will you share as you go about your day?

You are beautiful!

You are a gift!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!

You are perfectly being single and you are ready to be single.

So enjoy being single while you can.

And if you still can’t shake that feeling that someone is missing from your life, book in an appointment and let’s see if we can get you to a place where you will have your pick of partners if you choose!

Loving you… Loving life…

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We Bought A House

Today I pick up the key for our new house.

It’s an exciting time for Scott and I as we start a new adventure renovating and putting our mark on our new home.

We’re living around the corner (almost) to a number of friends and looking forward to making new ones.

Our house is perfect for us, but if you had looked at our wish list when we first started house hunting you would think we had failed in our attempts to find the home we were looking for.

We set out looking for a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

We bought a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

We didn’t want a pool yet we now have a pool.

We wanted the living area to have a northern aspect, it has a southern aspect.

We didn’t necessarily want to renovate and we will be renovating the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry.

We wanted grass for the pups to play on and at the moment there is not a scrap of grass to be seen.

And the list goes on…

The funny thing about lists, goals, targets, whatever you want to call them is that unless they match the energy that will give you that sense of achievement, they mean nothing.

The energy of the house that we’ve bought is perfect for us.

It’s a home with a lot of love, fun and will enhance our lives. The rest is easy to work with when the energy is in alignment with you.

I once had a list for the type of husband I wanted.

My actual husband is not quite what I was looking for, yet he is exactly what I need.

When you’re looking at connecting with something, whether it’s a house, a partner, a job or even a more healthy body, take a look at the energy that you would like to feel when you have achieved the outcome and throw away your list.

Yes, throw away your list! Click To Tweet

The reason why I suggest it is that it’s your mind that needs the list and your mind doesn’t really know what you need in your life.

Your mind doesn’t really know what will enhance your life, what will give you the happiness you desire and what will allow you to create something beyond your imagination.

Connecting with the energy of what you truly desire is quite simple… 

  • Image how you would like to feel when you have it.
  • When you’re in a relationship with a person you love and they love you how will you feel.
  • Happy? Content? In awe that this has actually happened? Will you be laughing?
  • And now feel those emotions in your body, in your being.
  • Expand the emotions out of your body so that they encompass you and your world.

Enjoy them because that’s what you’re really desiring in your life.

Not some list.

So when you’re out there searching for something you think that you want, take a minute to connect with that part of you that already has it.

I don’t mean the list, I mean the energy of it within you.

Expand the energy and create a frequency and then ask it to come and find you.

Keep an eye out for it because it may just be something you least expect.

And then out of the blue…

The energy will hit.

And you will know when you have it.

If you need some assistance getting to the “having” stage, book your consultation today to receive some flow into your life.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

The Art Of Giving A Gift

Did you know that there is an art to giving a gift?

Neither did I until a couple of years ago, and yet there seems to be a socially accepted way to give and receive.

You give your gift and you expect a thank you or an acknowledgement in return.

Easy!

Yet not so easy…

For one thing what if the recipient doesn’t like your gift? Do they still have to say thank you for something they are most probably going to discard in some way?

And if they don’t say thank you, how do you feel about giving to them? Not great.

So what is the true art of giving?

It is giving without conditions… Gifting!

When you gift to someone, you bypass the dynamics of giving and receiving… the expectation that if you give to someone you will receive something in return.

It allows you to give without expectations… give simply for the sake of giving.

When you gift to someone, you allow them to have the energetic space to do with your gift whatever they choose.

They can say thank you if they wish, and if they don’t wish to acknowledge your gift, they don’t have to.

Some may say it is rude not to be thankful for a gift, yet thanks seems to be an expectation not true thankfulness.

Which would you prefer?

Gifting is also much more fun, in my opinion as it gives you and the recipient the freedom to give and receive without any conditions.

True unconditional giving is ironically one of the easiest ways to bring happiness into your life. Click To Tweet

So many of us think of a gift as what it will give us in return rather than giving without any concern for ourselves.

Giving and receiving is one of the core reasons for burnout, that I will write about at later date.

So how do you gift rather than give?

  • When shopping for a gift for another, imagine you will not receive thanks for this gift. No acknowledgement at all. How do you feel?
  • When giving your gift, let go of expectations of them liking the gift and you receiving thanks for your gift. How do you feel about that?
  • Give simply for the sake of giving… let go of your expectations of how the gift should be used (especially if it is money) and your expectations of thanks.

When you think about the dogma of giving and receiving take a look at nature. Are there any expectations of receiving a thank you when a bird pollinates a plant? I don’t think so. There is a co-existence and the energy flows from one to another gifting and receiving.

Many of us think that we are giving unconditionally, yet even if we have a little inkling that says, “I hope they like my gift” there is still an energetic attachment to giving conditionally that you may wish to let go of.

Some people find this quite easy to do, yet others… especially if gift giving is one of your love languages, you may have a little trouble not receiving from your act of love.

Either way, that’s ok… 

What if it was time to give a gift to you? Book a consultation with me today and transform your life.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature