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Protect Yourself From Hurt

Life hurts so much I just can’t stand it!

How to protect yourself from being hurt again is a common theme.

We come into the world open to all the possibilities that are offered, yet we learn very quickly that it is very easy for our openness to be battered by people who have been hurt themselves.

It’s tough when you are hurt by another, especially if this other is a loved one or someone you have looked up to in the past.

What I have found with clients is that before someone is able to hurt you, you need to give them the ability to do so. You hand over your power, you place expectations on the other person and you let go of your knowing.

This is not about blaming you for the other person’s behaviour. It is simply giving you the awareness that you don’t have to be hurt by another ever again.

Handing over your power is one of the easiest ways to get hurt.

By this I mean, giving them your trust, your knowing and allowing them to be in charge of your life. You may not be doing this on a conscious level, but if you have any resistance to having someone take control of aspects of your life, you are also handing them your power because what you resist persists and grows stronger.

And breathe…

Placing expectations on the other person – who you think they are, rather than who they are showing you they are is a great way to be hurt when you finally see them for who they are. Also placing expectations on the experience with the other person can cause difficulties when the interaction ends and the dreams are shattered, leaving you wondering what happened? Where did it all go wrong?

Letting go of your knowing can also land you in a world of hurt. Every single client I have asked if they knew their partner would cheat on them before it happened, when connecting in with their knowing, said yes. They knew! We know when we are going to be hurt. We are given signs, but because of what we have seen in our parent’s relationships, the television and in social media we believe on some level that it is ok for us to have this experience.

On a soul level, yes it is perfectly ok for us to have this experience, yet what if by using the tools below we can bypass it and have our experience in another, kinder form?

How do we learn without being hurt by the experiences we choose to have?

  1. Let go of the meaning we have given the experience. Getting hurt means so much to us. It is betrayal, disrespect, blame and so much more. What if we didn’t attach so much meaning to being hurt and see it for what it is. It’s a couple of people playing out a pattern that has been running for many, many lifetimes and you’ve all played different roles and now it’s time to complete the pattern so that you don’t have to play it over again with other people in other times or dimensions. Are you willing to let that pattern resolve itself?
  2. Return everything you have ever learned about life and relationships to whomever you bought it. Whether it is from your parents, tv or somewhere else, they can have it back and you can now create something that flows from love.
  3. Drop your energetic barriers. We are so caught up in protecting ourselves from the nasties that we don’t realise that when our barriers go up we are resisting what is hurting us and are holding the hurt in place. Wouldn’t it be easier to drop the barriers and let go of the resistance, the meaning and acknowledge that it happened and it no longer has any control over you?
  4. Let go of your expectations…. COMPLETELY! No one finds it easy to live up to another’s expectations, so why would you place this on a person you love? Right here, right now is where you are. You’re reading this post. You’re deciding whether you agree with what I’m writing or not and you are present. And breathe… To let go of needing to protect yourself, this is the best place to live. In the present.
  5. Acknowledge your knowing. If you ask yourself if this person or situation is in your highest expression of your life, you’ll get a response. Depending on the way you receive information, feeling, thoughts, visions, hearing or knowing, you’ll receive the answer to the question. You can ask whether it is a pattern repeating itself and ask your higher self to resolve the pattern on your behalf. You can ask if you will hurt the other person. You can ask questions to get a full picture of what is going to happen in this situation and then make a conscious choice whether to go ahead or not. It doesn’t matter which choice you make because spiritually, there are no wrong choices. It’s up to you.

So, how do you feel about being hurt now?

The pain and sadness may linger for a while, yet if you use these 5 insights you’ll find that these feelings will lift sooner than you think and if you’re a quick learner (I wasn’t, so no judgement here), you’ll find that you may never have to experience this again… or at least in a lesser form.

If you feel that you need some extra help trusting yourself and dropping your barriers, please contact me for a private consultation or join the monthly free distant healing sessions and let me do all the work for you.

Loving you… Loving life…

What If This Is All BS?

A few weeks ago, I was at lunch with a couple of friends and I called bullshit!

I called bullshit on myself and what I write on this website which shocked them completely. I do love shocking people.

Let me start at the beginning…

We were having a conversation about whether or not we believed in what I do for a living or what I write about on this website and as I know that everything – beliefs, knowings, truths are all flexible and changeable in a moment, I made the suggestion that everything on this site is bullshit.

Most people won’t understand this because they hold their beliefs so tight that if someone questioned them, their defences would rise and it would be on for young and old.

I don’t happen to be one of those people – or maybe this is a belief that I am flexible and changeable! However, it really doesn’t matter to me if someone doesn’t believe in what I write, say or do. It does matter to me wether I am giving value to my readers and clients and that they are transforming with the contribution of my facilitation.

Getting back to why I called bs and I think this can be a great suggestion for anything you come across in your life…

Don’t believe what other people say. Check in with your knowing and see if it resonates with you in this moment. You’re the only one who can be your own bs detector.

Don’t necessarily use other people’s findings as the be all and end all. Research can be skewed, writing comes through the writer’s filters and we are always finding new and interesting information.

Not so long ago, the atom was the smallest…. not true anymore.

Not so long ago, the earth was flat and the earth was the centre of the universe.

Not so long ago, we thought that disease was purely physical… yet many of my clients can tell you that it is not.

My point is that we really don’t know what we don’t know, so maybe it’s best to keep an open mind about any information we receive and ask more questions about it.

The universal energy loves an inquiring mind. It brings in creativity, ingenuity and so-called miracles for us to wonder at and go beyond the limitations that we are surrounded by.

What do you know about life, love and the universe?

Probably a lot more than you’re acknowledging. And if you care to acknowledge what you know, you’ll probably allow yourself to acknowledge that there is more information available to you than you could ever realise.

So, I call bullshit on everything that I have ever said and everything that i have ever written so that you can connect in with your being, your knowing and ask, “In this moment, is this true for me? And am I willing to go beyond any limitations that would prevent me from being the oneness of all that is?”

By asking questions like this, you’ll find that you’re own knowing will expand exponentially and you’ll start to remember all the things you don’t know that you know and bring in all the things that you may need to know for your life to be lived in alignment with your highest expression.

An exercise for you… if you wish… is to read through this website and read the information, then check in with your knowing and ask yourself if it is true for you. If it’s not, ask are you willing to connect with what is true for you? And write in the comments what you have come up with.

This process is amazing, but don’t take my word for it… try it out for yourself and learn what is true for you now and what will be true for you in the future, so that you can develop your inner strength and know who you really are.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you… the real you…

Loving you… Loving life…

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Blame Me For Everything

What if you had someone to blame for everything that has ever happened in your life?

All the bad stuff that you think is ruining your life.

All the stuff that if it wasn’t happening, your life would be fantastic!

Well, you do… Me.

Yep. Blame me.

Blame me for the bad stuff, the ugly stuff, the hurtful stuff, the stuff that is uncomfortable.

Blame me.

Your child falls over… Rosemary’s fault.

You’re in financial ruin… Rosemary’s fault.

Your partner is in a mood… yep… Rosemary’s fault.

You can do it!

In fact, the more you blame me, the better!

You can even blame me for the good stuff, although most of you won’t do that because you think that the good stuff is worth holding on. Yet, the good, the bad, the indifferent is all made up of the same stuff (energy) and can all be thrown at my feet because it feels great!

Bring it on baby!!!!

So, now that you think I’m mildly crazy for taking the blame for everything in your life, that other person’s life, in fact, for everyone’s life, what is this all about?

When many people feel they are being blamed for something, especially if it is unjustly so, there is a resistance that can keep you stuck. It can hold the energy in place for years and have an affect on future decisions that will stop you from creating a life of fun and joy.

I remember when I was a child I would get the blame for things that I hadn’t done and it felt horrible. Why was I being punished for something I had nothing to do with?

Victim, victim, victim!

Now as an adult, I realise that the issue of blame had nothing to do with me and everything to do with them, so I’m happy to allow the energy to flow through me because that is all blame is… energy.

When I wasn’t able to receive the energy of blame, I became a right fighter. I would fight for my cause to the death. And that’s exactly what happened… I killed many relationships because I was fighting for what I believed was right.

I’m not saying for you to be a doormat and take abuse from others, simply allow the energy to flow through you easily and gently because blame rarely has anything to do with you and everything to do with the other person.

Of course, if it is an issue that you can remedy, by all means, help out. Do what you can to rectify the situation and give the other person some ease in their life.

Are you ready to let blame become a thing of the past in your relationships?

Are you willing to allow the energy of blame (and anything else) to flow through you like a gentle breeze?

Are you willing to drop your barriers, expand the love your have within your heart and be open to the energy being thrown at you?

Are you willing to feel blame as a gentle giggle?

Are you willing to realise that blame really doesn’t matter and that looking at the hurt behind the blame is more important than the blame itself?

When you are able to allow the blame to flow through you, you will find that blame rarely comes up in your world. People stop blaming you, you stop blaming people and things. You stop being a victim in your own world and that’s a really spacious place to be.

Right, wrong, good or bad, it really doesn’t matter because it is all the same energy, simply different sides of the same coin which we have judged and allowed it to have power over us.

Are you ready to take your power back?

Are you ready to be responsible for your own life?

Are you ready to blame me for EVERYTHING?

Are you ready and willing to untangle from the energy of blame, so it no longer exists in your reality?

By the way, it’s all my fault!

If you need a little help with this concept, let me know and we’ll work it out together.

Loving you… Loving life…

The Best Question EVA!

Clients ask me what questions to ask…

Questions for all sorts of things like:

Clarity
Finding your purpose
Better relationships
Connecting with your loved one
Better health
What food to eat and exercise to do
To shift energy and blockages

I answer…

“Ask whatever feels right for you.”

And most of the time there is a sense of dissatisfaction that fills the air.

People’s thinking mind need to know answers.

They need to know that they are doing something right.

They need to know that they are making a difference.

They need to know that what they are doing is working otherwise why the hell are they doing it!

So, this is the reason why people ask me about exact questions to ask for specific situations.

I get it.

And most of the time they get it too.

It’s really quite funny and when we have a laugh, the energy shifts and whatever was the issue is now gone.

Questions are a personal thing and when I’m working with at client or in a group session I will read the energy and ask the specific questions.

However, when it’s just you… what do you ask? Click To Tweet

When I first started to explore the world of question asking I would ask,

“What question is required in this situation?”

And that would either lead to more questions bubbling to mind or it would shift the energy without continuing.

So…

“What question is required in this situation?”

If you continue to use this question for issues that arise in your life and stay open, you’ll find that more questions and then answers will come flooding into your awareness.

You’ll become your own walking, talking knowingness!

And then you’ll be able to move from questions that are primarily self centric – which is where most people are in their journey – to questions that are holistic in nature.

My favourite question at this moment in my life is…

“What can I be and do today that will contribute to my life and the lives of others?”

I ask this question every single day and my life just gets better and better!

This doesn’t mean that I’m out volunteering my time and energy every minute, every day.

It means that I’m taking care of myself and by increasing my frequency other people and environments will resonate with that energy.

My sister’s friend told me once just how much a single offhand sentence I said to her in passing had a huge impact on her life.

And I had NO IDEA!

I was simply contributing to myself and to others.

I definitely wasn’t actively trying to find people to fix or change.

I was simply being me.

Having fun at my sister’s house and loving my life.

As I ask this question on a daily basis… sometimes many times a day and I don’t go looking for answers.

I simply trust that my being and actions will contribute to my life and to the lives of others because really, who am I to think that I have all the answers for others in their life’s journey!

This question allows me to live my best life without having the pressure of thinking that I need to follow some amazing life purpose.

It allows me to trust that I am my life’s purpose.

If you’re struggling to find and be on purpose, please book a consultation with me today and we’ll get you on track.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

 

Becoming A Mother

What do you need to become a mother?

This is something that I’ve been wondering about over the past 6 years and especially over the past few months.

You may or may not know this but Scott and I have been wanting to have children since before we got married.

I know more about the ins and outs of becoming pregnant than most people.

And have done more treatments – alternative and mainstream – than I care to think about.

I’ve facilitated the release of blockages to help women become pregnant.

And I’ve referred people to other therapists who are able to assist in couples creating beautiful families.

And yet for us…

We have furbabies.

One of whom has been barking at me all morning… and I’m just not getting it!

I’ve heard mothers of newborns sometimes don’t get what their bub is trying to tell them, but unlike me, they can’t just ignore their child and hope it gets better!

As I have walked this path of … whatever you want to call it!

On occasion it has felt like an obsession.

I’ve found some amazing practitioners who are available to give support for women who are on their way to becoming a mother.

Support is the piece that can make or break the wonderful experience of pregnancy and growing into motherhood.

What if you don’t have the support of your partner?

What if you don’t have the support of your family?

What if you have to work and don’t have the luxury of time to connect with your baby?

What if you have too much time and don’t know how to use it effectively so that you and your baby are nurtured?

Well… I’ve found a wonderful woman – Julia – who is an Ayurvedic Post-Partum Doula and is currently pregnant with her 3rd child.

She lives about 30 minutes from me and we have never met, simply because I’m not ready for her services.

However, I know that she has a fabulous website with freebies on it for you to enjoy if you’re about to become a mother of a newborn.

Just click here and you’ll be rewarded with love, kindness and support.

So, what is it about motherhood?

Most of us think it will just happen as soon as a baby pops out.

But it doesn’t does it?

Motherhood is something that you grow into. Click To Tweet

A phase in your life that needs nurturing and feeding as the child grows into adulthood.

When the opportunity is given, it is there to be cherished even when things seem to be falling down around you.

I remember dating a man who expected me to be as organised as his mother.

I was organised enough for me and possibly one extra, but I’ve never had reason to be as organised as someone who is responsible for little humans.

It is always something that I knew I would grow into when the time called for it.

His mother had had over 40 years experience of being organised and I bet when she started out she didn’t have it all together!

If you’re interested I’ll share with you a quick process for you to connect with your mother archetype.

You can listen to it here…

So what did you see?

How did you connect with the mother within you?

What questions did you ask and what were the answers?

This is a process that you can listen to and receive insights over and over and I invite you to do so, whether you have children or not.

And if you would like to know more about how to develop a deeper relationship with children in your life maybe a private consultation will assist you.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

Please Feel Your Emotions

Many of us are now being trained to bypass our emotions.

Let’s clear them, release them, return them to sender, let go of them, transform them and so on…

And sometimes this is appropriate.

Especially if you have your antennae on high alert and you’re picking up other people’s stuff.

But I’m talking about the times when the feelings that you have are actually yours.

Those times when you’re in pain. You’re hurt, sad, lonely, angry.

You remember don’t you?

Those emotions that are gut wrenching and make you think that you’ll never stop crying?

Well guess what?

The deeper you dive into those emotions the quicker you move through them and the less likely they get stuck in your body causing disease.

It’s also great to really feel the good emotions as well because emotions are neither good or bad, they are simply emotions that can either be felt or suppressed.

The choice is yours.

Little kids move through their emotions really quickly because they are in the moment feeling them and you can do this too.

The way I like to really get into my emotions so I can move through them is by imagining I’m diving into them. Like diving off a platform into a deep pool.

I learned this from Brandon Bays of The Journey.

When you dive into the core of an emotion, you’re able to look at what is under the emotion. And then under that and under that.

The emotions are able to shift and move… you know… energy in motion = e motion 😉 Click To Tweet

I won’t tell you what happens when you get under all the emotion, but it’s pretty spectacular and I urge you to give it a go.

Make sure you’re in a safe place without any distractions. Please don’t do this while you’re driving.

  • Think of a situation and feel the emotions associated with it.
  • Pick one emotion and name it.
  • Imagine the emotion is 100% more than what you’re feeling at the moment.
  • Dive into the core of the emotion.
  • Really feel it.
  • What’s underneath the emotion?
  • Name the next emotion?
  • Make it bigger and really feel it.
  • Dive into it.
  • What’s underneath?

If any people come show up, acknowledge them and thank them for being in the process.

Keep repeating this until you feel complete.

If you don’t know you’re complete, you’re not.

When you have completed the process you will know deep within that you are complete.

If you’re finding it difficult to go through this process you may have an underlying belief that you will not be safe feeling your emotions.

If this is the case, you can organise a consultation with me and I’ll facilitate you through and go even deeper as this is a belief that would have an impact in many areas of your life.

Let me know how you go in the comments.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

My Button Pushing Family

Healing family relationships can be tricky for many of us.

As you may or may not know, Scott and I are staying with my gorgeous mum and wonderful step dad while we are waiting for our new home to settle.

It’s really nice reconnecting with them as many of my friend parents have been transitioning over the last few years and I really feel the need to develop a better relationship with them both.

The tricky thing is… although our relationship is “fine” we have had our ups and downs and I would like to dissolve the many, many triggers we have together so that we don’t have to do this again in the next lifetime!

I love my mum… really I do, but she drives me insane! And I’m very sure that I do the same to her.

Although, really, I can’t see how as I am perfect in every way 😉

So the tool that I’ve been using… (although I have been using the full arsenal so that we can have a better relationship) is one that releases blame from either side.

Relationships like these are not about blame. Click To Tweet

They are about bringing us more into love and the more we realise this the easier it is to do this process.

So if you have a relationship with anyone, it could be your parents, your siblings, your co-workers or your partner, you can do this process.

Firstly is the realisation that every person who triggers you is there in service of you.

They are a  reflection of what needs to be healed within you.

If you didn’t have the trigger or frequency that matched them you wouldn’t have an issue with them.

So, remember, they are there for you to love more of you.

Secondly, the process…

Focus on the image below.

You can substitute “Mum” for any other person.

Say to yourself:

  • I am like Mum
  • I am not like Mum
  • Maybe I’m like Mum
  • Maybe I’m not like Mum

Keep saying this and move your eyes from one statement to the next until you are able to feel a sense of peace with what you are saying.

What this process does is to allow the relationship to be neutral, which then allows you to be open to love. It doesn’t mean that you condone their behaviour or have to stay in a relationship with them.

It simply allows you to be free from the angst the other person may bring to your life.

If you’re still having difficulties after 5 minutes scan your body and imagine the image above in the area of your body where you can feel the resistance to letting go.

If you really can’t let go, re-read the top section about why this person is in your life and maybe, just maybe you could thank them for being in your life… not from the level of the personality, but from your soul’s perspective.

And then have another go.

When people trigger you so much that you simply can not stand having them in your life, it is ok for you to take some time away from them.

You don’t need to tell them or have them anywhere near you to do the work that needs to be done for you to have ease in your life.

Let me know if you have anyone in your life who triggers you and remember, how you feel about them doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you.

If you need some extra help healing your relationship with your parents, book a consultation with me now.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

Is Sex Important In Intimate Relationships

I have been asked many times from clients…

Is sex important in intimate relationships?

And in a nutshell my answer is yes and no.

I know… I know… but really there is never a clear cut answer when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to sex.

So let me explain…

If a couple are sexually compatible the answer is no (most of the time). And by compatible I mean either they both want it the same amount or they both don’t want it the same amount. The amount of times they make love with each other is a non-issue if they both are satisfied.

However, if the lack of sexual intimacy is due to an imbalance of hormones, repressed sexual issues or issues in the relationship in general then the lack of love making and connection may need to be something you might like to look into.

When clients ask me about sex and their relationship it’s generally when one or both of them are dissatisfied in some way.

It could be due to lack of sex – one of the couple is disinterested or too much sex and one of the couple wants it all the time. Or they simple don’t fit as a couple.

When you’re dealing with bodies, sometimes what they feel doesn’t match with what you would like them to feel and that’s where the real disconnect can occur.

If you’re the one that is dissatisfied with your sexual relationships then it’s up to you to take a look at where that dissatisfaction comes from. Why have you chosen this particular person to be in relationship with and what is it that they are bringing up for you to let go of?

Here’s what I say to the ones that don’t want to have sex very often…

  1. Go and get your hormones checked out
  2. What is that feeling that stops you from enjoying spending time with your partner’s body? When was the earliest time you felt it and who does it remind you of?
  3. Are you willing to look at the aspects of what is stopping you from enjoying sex with your partner to create a different dynamic in your relationship around sexual experiences?

And for the partner who would like to make love more often with their partner…

  1. Make sure your hormones are balanced
  2. What does sex mean to you?
  3. How would you gift to body sexually if you didn’t have a partner?

To both of the people I would then say…

  1. Are you willing to love that part of you that is reflected in your partner?
  2. Are you willing to look at any blockages to giving and receiving?
  3. After having done all of the work, what would your ideal sexual relationship be? And are you willing to be that for you without relying on another to give you those feelings?

What if it was easy to open up to receiving? Click To Tweet

When your body can open yourself up to giving and receiving both sexually and in other ways in your life, then you aren’t reliant on others to give it to you through sex and once you let go of the neediness your sexual relationship with your self and others start to shift in a way that you could never imagine.

So, if you’re in a situation where there is imbalance in your love life, book a consultation with me and we can muscle test you to help you balance your hormones and bring sexual energy into balance.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature

 

The Art Of Giving A Gift

Did you know that there is an art to giving a gift?

Neither did I until a couple of years ago, and yet there seems to be a socially accepted way to give and receive.

You give your gift and you expect a thank you or an acknowledgement in return.

Easy!

Yet not so easy…

For one thing what if the recipient doesn’t like your gift? Do they still have to say thank you for something they are most probably going to discard in some way?

And if they don’t say thank you, how do you feel about giving to them? Not great.

So what is the true art of giving?

It is giving without conditions… Gifting!

When you gift to someone, you bypass the dynamics of giving and receiving… the expectation that if you give to someone you will receive something in return.

It allows you to give without expectations… give simply for the sake of giving.

When you gift to someone, you allow them to have the energetic space to do with your gift whatever they choose.

They can say thank you if they wish, and if they don’t wish to acknowledge your gift, they don’t have to.

Some may say it is rude not to be thankful for a gift, yet thanks seems to be an expectation not true thankfulness.

Which would you prefer?

Gifting is also much more fun, in my opinion as it gives you and the recipient the freedom to give and receive without any conditions.

True unconditional giving is ironically one of the easiest ways to bring happiness into your life. Click To Tweet

So many of us think of a gift as what it will give us in return rather than giving without any concern for ourselves.

Giving and receiving is one of the core reasons for burnout, that I will write about at later date.

So how do you gift rather than give?

  • When shopping for a gift for another, imagine you will not receive thanks for this gift. No acknowledgement at all. How do you feel?
  • When giving your gift, let go of expectations of them liking the gift and you receiving thanks for your gift. How do you feel about that?
  • Give simply for the sake of giving… let go of your expectations of how the gift should be used (especially if it is money) and your expectations of thanks.

When you think about the dogma of giving and receiving take a look at nature. Are there any expectations of receiving a thank you when a bird pollinates a plant? I don’t think so. There is a co-existence and the energy flows from one to another gifting and receiving.

Many of us think that we are giving unconditionally, yet even if we have a little inkling that says, “I hope they like my gift” there is still an energetic attachment to giving conditionally that you may wish to let go of.

Some people find this quite easy to do, yet others… especially if gift giving is one of your love languages, you may have a little trouble not receiving from your act of love.

Either way, that’s ok… 

What if it was time to give a gift to you? Book a consultation with me today and transform your life.

Loving you… Loving life…

Rosemary's Signature