My Nephew Is A Dreamer

I love my nephew.

He is an amazing kid.

Polite, intelligent and he has a kind heart.

And he is soooooooo slow when you want him to do anything!

For those of you who don’t know, I’m new to this acting parenting thing.

My sister is away in London for 2 weeks and I’m looking after my 2 nieces and nephew while she is away.

And I’ve got to say that I have a newfound respect for parents.

My kids are teenagers and are very self sufficient having grown up with mostly just Mum, they’ve learned how to cook, wash clothes and pretty much organise themselves.

However, I know I’m challenging them to become even more… just as they are me.

The gift my nephew is giving me is being in the present moment with him.

 

You know, I don’t get to see them very often and he’ll be a grown up in a few years and I’ll probably see him even less.

So, last night we were doing the dishes.

The kids hate doing the dishes, however, they have a roster and I’m there drying and chatting with them so it’s more fun for the both of us.

When I do the dishes, they are done quickly and efficiently.

When my nephew does the dishes they are done slowly because he is of in another world.

And then when you chat with him as well, it turns into a marathon as he can’t chat and clean dishes at the same time.

As we were chatting and washing and stopping and washing and chatting some more, I could feel my frustration levels rising.

He simply wasn’t doing it fast enough and without taking over, which wouldn’t be great for his development.

I could do nothing.

Nothing!

That’s when I realised that my beautiful nephew was giving me a gift.

The gift of being present.

The gift of getting to know him.

The gift of connecting with him.

The gift of being present.

A wonderful gift.

As I felt the frustration, I made a conscious choice that it really didn’t matter what else we were missing out on, being present with him was the most important thing I could be doing with my life at this moment.

I had to remind myself a few times because the frustration kept coming at me.

And instead of shoving it down and dismissing it, I was amused by it because as I was being present with my nephew, the frustration was clearing.

I hear this often from clients that their partners or kids don’t do things the way that they would like them to be done.

And they are missing the gift that they are to give and to be given.

The gift to give is to trust that the other person will work it out. Click To Tweet

They will get there on their timeframe not yours.

To give someone the space to learn and to work things out themselves is allowing both you and them to grow into the best version of them.

They develop their problem solving skills and increase their sense of achievement, which will allow them to eventually contribute more to the lives of others.

I understand that I am not an expert in parenting within 2 weeks, however, I have insights into human behaviours that allow others to see the forest from the trees.

So when you are stuck in that forest and you would like others to behave in a way that is different from what is showing up, there are 2 things you can do…

  1. Stop the activity completely and do something different
  2. Allow the activity to continue until complete, supporting them every step of the way.

The choice is yours.

Remember, if you need some extra assistance with your kids, book your appointment today.

Loving you… Loving life…

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Rosemary Davey

Rosemary Davey lives with her husband Scott and her fur babies in Western Australia. She has a background in Mind Body Medicine and Holistic Counselling and uses tools and techniques in her programs to enhance the relationships in your life.

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