My Button Pushing Family

Healing family relationships can be tricky for many of us.

As you may or may not know, Scott and I are staying with my gorgeous mum and wonderful step dad while we are waiting for our new home to settle.

It’s really nice reconnecting with them as many of my friend parents have been transitioning over the last few years and I really feel the need to develop a better relationship with them both.

The tricky thing is… although our relationship is “fine” we have had our ups and downs and I would like to dissolve the many, many triggers we have together so that we don’t have to do this again in the next lifetime!

I love my mum… really I do, but she drives me insane! And I’m very sure that I do the same to her.

Although, really, I can’t see how as I am perfect in every way 😉

So the tool that I’ve been using… (although I have been using the full arsenal so that we can have a better relationship) is one that releases blame from either side.

Relationships like these are not about blame. Click To Tweet

They are about bringing us more into love and the more we realise this the easier it is to do this process.

So if you have a relationship with anyone, it could be your parents, your siblings, your co-workers or your partner, you can do this process.

Firstly is the realisation that every person who triggers you is there in service of you.

They are a  reflection of what needs to be healed within you.

If you didn’t have the trigger or frequency that matched them you wouldn’t have an issue with them.

So, remember, they are there for you to love more of you.

Secondly, the process…

Focus on the image below.

You can substitute “Mum” for any other person.

Say to yourself:

  • I am like Mum
  • I am not like Mum
  • Maybe I’m like Mum
  • Maybe I’m not like Mum

Keep saying this and move your eyes from one statement to the next until you are able to feel a sense of peace with what you are saying.

What this process does is to allow the relationship to be neutral, which then allows you to be open to love. It doesn’t mean that you condone their behaviour or have to stay in a relationship with them.

It simply allows you to be free from the angst the other person may bring to your life.

If you’re still having difficulties after 5 minutes scan your body and imagine the image above in the area of your body where you can feel the resistance to letting go.

If you really can’t let go, re-read the top section about why this person is in your life and maybe, just maybe you could thank them for being in your life… not from the level of the personality, but from your soul’s perspective.

And then have another go.

When people trigger you so much that you simply can not stand having them in your life, it is ok for you to take some time away from them.

You don’t need to tell them or have them anywhere near you to do the work that needs to be done for you to have ease in your life.

Let me know if you have anyone in your life who triggers you and remember, how you feel about them doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you.

If you need some extra help healing your relationship with your parents, book a consultation with me now.

Loving you… Loving life…

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Rosemary Davey

Rosemary Davey lives with her husband Scott and her fur babies in Western Australia. She has a background in Mind Body Medicine and Holistic Counselling and uses tools and techniques in her programs to enhance the relationships in your life.

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